The Royal Chronicles

Author\’s commentary, Special Features, Outtakes, and Extras from Marilyn\’s Royal Blog

Archive for the ‘Satire’ Category

Spam – Is it the thought that counts?

Posted by Marilyn on January 9, 2007

I don’t know whether I’ve mentioned this or not, but I have my own forum called Marilyn’s Royal Forum. I started this in July with the hopes that it would be a stimulating, intellectual and profound place to discuss royalty. Unfortunately I didn’t realize the amount of work (and no doubt publicity) that needs to go into something like Marilyn’s Royal Forum, in order for it to gain momentum. I have watched dismally at the lack of visitors to Marilyn’s Royal Forum but yet, despite my lack of effort to publicize my forum, I’ve been heartened by the new members which seems to grow daily – at the moment it’s at number 74. Yet, imagine my disappointment that these new members have not participated in any meaningful way.

However, all is not lost as these members have provided links to a variety of services. Ergo, I would like to take this moment to say how deeply touched I am by their concern for my medical, travel, cell phone, financial, accessories, and entertainment needs. I would pass along these links to the greater forum community except that I’ve decided to be selfish and keep them to myself. I don’t like waiting in line, why should other people get first dibs on these services? I do believe that it’s better to give than to receive, however the “oh no, you shouldn’t have” posts I might receive in return would just depress me in the long run. So much so, that I might actually have to use some of the links I’ve been given. But where to begin? There’s just so much choice! Which would depress me all the more. Maybe a video would help me forget how depressed I would be. But yet, once again, so much choice!

In order to avoid this dilemma, I would like to take this moment to give some tips to those who keep sending me all of this “help”.

1) Although I’m not under a doctor’s care at the moment, should I require help in this area, I’m sure I could find someone qualified to help me.

2) The selection of videos is truly astounding yet I’m more into the classics such as The Wizard of Oz and the Sound of Music. I do also like action adventure (you know, movies where things get blown up) and people do unrealistic stunts and drive really fast. Yet, I’m open to suggestions of course, it’s good to try new things but it’s..ummm… just not ME – do you know what I mean? However, I don’t hold it against anyone who does decide to entertain themselves this way. As the song goes, “whatever gets you through the night”.

3) I’m really not into accessories, especially not knock-off stuff. I’m sure the people from What Not to Wear would have a field day with me. If I’ve learned anything from that show is it’s best to go for good quality stuff and mini skirts after 35 are just wrong. Not to hurt anyones feelings but once again, it’s…ummm…just not ME.

4) I already have a cell phone and I’m perfectly happy with it. All that fancy add-on stuff like internet, photo taking, and fancy ring tones is just not for me. I can’t even stand it on other peoples phones. If I hear “Baby hit me one more time”…..

5) So many tempting sites for my financial and travel needs. They just look so trustworthy, why would anyone go with a reputable banking institution or travel agent? it just seems too good to be true. Maybe you can believe everything you read on the internet!

So, just to recap, I do appreciate your concern but I’ve got things covered in these areas. However, do feel free to participate in Marilyn’s Royal Forum.

© Marilyn Braun 2007

Posted in Commentary, Satire | 2 Comments »

A Royal Spinach gaffe?

Posted by Marilyn on October 10, 2006

Stay tuned for yet more revelations from Adrienne Clarkson!

Posted in Satire | 1 Comment »

Royal Watch – Day 8

Posted by Marilyn on May 31, 2005

Summary for the day:

  • William says royal duties ruining my dreams – Thems the brakes Will!
  • Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie of York to be confimed by the late Queen Mother’s chapel
  • [Padding]
  • Prince Charles’ old fashioned views blamed for lack of new housing
  • [Insert spacing to make the list look longer]
  • Everyone still alive
  • [Deliberate padding]
  • Mounting costs of Diana investigation questioned

Posted in Satire | Leave a Comment »

Royal Watch Day 7

Posted by Marilyn on May 25, 2005

Summary for the day (actually the past few days. I’ve been remiss in my duties)

  • French woman claims to have Diana’s kidney – the ultimate Diana collector’s item. But will she sell herself on eBay?
  • Prince Charles speech on demolition of historic houses, labelled “biggest attack on the government for several years” – Who knew politicians were so touchy?
  • Charles and Camilla appear smiley in public – ahhh to be a newlywed again
  • Camilla carries out first solo engagement and little girl gives her a kiss. Never underestimate the PR value of a small child.
  • Queen poses for official photo and *gasp* asked to smile
  • Harry still in military training
  • Diana conspiracy theories revived – as if we could be allowed to forget
  • No mortal wounds or sword fights

Posted in Satire | Leave a Comment »

Royal Watch Day 6

Posted by Marilyn on May 18, 2005

Summary for the day:

  • William, the reluctant royal, to carry out first solo engagement in New Zealand
  • Paul Burrell to school contestants in royal etiquette for new Australian reality series
  • Queen and Prince Philip in Canada
  • Royals save millions in property deals for Crown Estates- where can I get a deal like that?
  • Charles and Camilla not pregnant

Posted in Satire | Leave a Comment »