The Queen hires contract killers

Disgruntled employees thinking of writing tell all books beware, the Queen has hired contract killers to carry out her dirty work. Six men, on a mission, in Her Majesty’s Service. It’s a large job, it could take a year, and it won’t be easy; moving targets make it challenging. But these men are expert marksmen and they’ll see to it that the job is done.

Of course, it’s not an arbitrary mission. There’s a reason for it – yes, there’s always a reason. Who benefits? The wealthy landowner, that’s who. A £500,000 bonus and all the venison you can eat? It’s a win, win, tasty, situation.

But it’s not only about the wealthy landowners, it’s also about the environment.

Still, Paul Burrell, I’d watch your back.